Me, Nigel

I am king of all I can see, head honcho, Mr Big. Right up to the farthest horizon, over the glittering expanse, I am the boss. Me, Nigel. Who would have thought! A windy paradise – a bit desolate maybe but it suits me fine. I’ve been here nearly two years now and it’s just got in my blood. I think I’ll stay here forever.

Not that I thought I’d stay long when I first arrived. It seemed so quiet, even a bit creepy. There were a lot of others here already but they didn’t have much to say for themselves. In fact, they were quite standoffish. Never welcomed me or even looked in my direction. Blimmin’ rude. Seemed a bit weird but at least they are still here, committed to the place you might say. They are good neighbours, really quiet. Actually, they hardly make any noise at all . . . or even move around much. At first, I wondered if they were okay – I spent a lot of time peering at them and getting quite close up but they weren’t bothered at all. Just ignored me. I wouldn’t mind a bit more action, especially when the nights get longer and there’s time to kill. Oh well, you can’t have everything. I call them family.

I’ve taken quite a fancy to one young stunner in particular. She’s everything I could want in a mate – so stable and solid, always there for me, a real looker. I think we have a future together – I’ve even built us a love nest, not that she seems that grateful. I’ve tried to make my feelings known but she’s a bit cold. Playing hard-to-get probably. But you never know, maybe one day we will hear the pitter-patter of tiny feet.

Hang on . . . what’s happening!? I can’t believe it! Who do they think they are? Three of them. Who said they could drop in, as though they own the place. Making so much noise. Can’t they shut up!? This place isn’t big enough for all of us. I’m not going over there, they can stick to their patch. I’m staying put.

Don’t they know who I am? I am Nigel, gannet king of Mana Island.




Rachael Hawkey



This is inspired by the recent strange story of Nigel, the gannet of Mana Island:

https://www.stuff.co.nz/environment/100393801/gannet-with-a-heart-of-stone-hes-got-live-company-but-he-prefers-a-concrete-decoy